However: this is my experience with one man, and it will not in any way fit for every situation. In my relationships, I am an equal. But still I'm no expert and only have my experiences. Great fun with many very complex & intense surprises. My old college roommate is with a military man. It especially changed the way he treated me, though it didn't happen overnight. Before him, I refused to date military. There's never been anything to indicate that they were jerks, though of course they could have secret double lives or something. I have no experience with long term relationships (outside of room mates, who are males). Anyway, I've recently met a very nice guy, and now everyone around me including my parents are warning me and waiting for it all to blow up in my face. His license is always getting suspended. Join free military dating sites to get the hottest matches possible. Trust your instincts. I had planned on a one night stand with one guy in the military and now here we are almost three years later so it’s not all bad. Yes, the military does that! My career was secondary. He wants to be a good officer for them. What have been your experiences, good or bad? Mobile dating apps – In the military, you get a lot of downtime, and your phone can be your best friend. He's been deployed twice, for 12 months, and 15 months and he came back pretty much the same, except maybe more focused. Told him I was sorry but I couldn't do a fwb situation as I'd catch feelings. Their being in the military has nothing to do with them being assholes...their just assholes in general. Beat Army! Also, I learned a very important thing from him that I use in my life now: don't ever get upset about news until you have all the facts. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit. He cheats constantly, then makes her think it's her fault. Dating is hard because you don't always know who is a great guy and who isputting up a front. Not all people in the military are bad. they are individuals just like any other group. I also have a friend who's married to a military guy who is a complete MORON, but he's a good husband and father. I watched a man I respected become more racist, more sexist because he was surrounded by people enforcing those ideas. Dating a military service member is not like dating a civilian. He had been managing it on his own, but then hit a rough patch and started sinking again. What I wanted came second. During boot man and singles, I wrote guys almost every day. Joining the Marines just gave him an excuse to act entitled and wear his dress blues everywhere like an asshole. His brothers in the military and I can tell he admires him. It's saved me a lot of heartache and worry. You mention the one you've met is a nice guy. When you’re thinking about dating a military guy or a military gal, there’s a bit more to think about. I should have walked the moment that changed, but I loved him, I was young and I couldn't let go of what I had before. He won't let her help him with his school work. When I see him on the street, I get flashbacks and it's like he still has power over me, even though I'm dating the best man in the world right now. He’s a decent rank, but they treat their sailors like shit. You have to trust … Active military is one of my dealbreakers now. For those who do not know how to navigate the site, MilitaryCupid offers step-by-step instructions. He might be a great person! Rampant domestic abuse. Nov … He had some mental issues, but I don't think they were military related per se, he was just a bit depressed and unsure of himself. He is such a laid back person, had never threatened her (she would have told me), or anything. If being courted like a princess is your reddit, then an dating stud or cons hunk might be just what the doctor ordered. It’s been a year so far and we’re still going strong, but it’s definitely hard work. Whether you find yourself among civilians or married … First time being in a jodi, clever boy, which comes with determination. Or that could happen. My experience personally: Substance abuse. So I decided to try three of them for a month. Cons are we don't live anywhere near where I want to live (for now), I'm dreading him deploying and I don't like that they take almost no consideration of my career into where he's assigned. They both say it would have been different had he reinlisted. People never really mean to be abusive, I think, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt and that it won't fuck you up. The military divorce rate is traditionally a little higher, because of the difficulty of a military life brings its challenges to the family. For some people the military is an extension of high school. Mostly positive. I think you're right about the last part. While it makes you very happy when he is back home, it can also put you through a lot of stress due to his long absence during deployments. I dated someone and dumped him (partially) because of his plans to join the military. He was a very sweet guy, absolutely nurturing, caring, and funny. I know several people who have gone the military route and are completely wonderful people. It’s natural, especially if there are big current events, to bring up politics in conversation. It's a long time to be consistently apart. The stress, the worrying, the sacrifices you have to make on a daily basis, everything. All of his military buddies are exactly the same way. Between fear of falling for a mooch, long distance … He won't seek therapy for his PTSD (which is definitely causing the substance abuse.) My brother is in the military and he's the best person. My boyfriend is leaving for Basic Training for the Air Force in January, so he's not quite a "military man" yet, but I'll be honest and say that I'm terrified of it. Neither of them would change anything/do any of it differently. If he starts displaying scary behavior or other toxic stuff, yeah, get the hell away from him. People are individuals, and you don't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy! You might have to go weeks or even longer without regular communication. He was navy if that helps. S. SteveHolt243. He's two years out, I think. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. Think of him as your personal hero. That means that no matter where you are, you can search for singles, send flirts, respond to messages, and, hopefully, find that special someone. I realize that bad men are not specific to the military, it is just one of those professions that can really mold a person. My husband was a nice guy too. I couldn't do that whole... move random places and wait around while he's deployed lifestyle. I think my parents just raised him (and me) to not be shitty people and to treat others well. I was in a military relationship for 2.5 years, and almost engaged. His friends though really don’t like me and tell him to breakup with me all the time. Military men someone to accept stereotypes army airforce to stick gentlemanly behavior. Press J to jump to the feed. Joined Jun 9, 2006 Messages 2,699. My bf is in the Navy, we’re also long distance already. 2. They aren’t allowed to have their phones out during work hours, and we are also busy with school or work. What qualities/life choices/ etc do you think separate the good ones from the bad? Dating a Military Woman While in Active Duty. We both moved on to other people, but I'd say by and large, he was fine to date. Make the decision for you, and for him. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. Would not recommend. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. And it's shitty, but I think you're also right about people who don't have options, too. I don't think it's necessarily the military that has done anything. Military relationships seem to be overwhelmingly unequal. Occasional domestic abuse. However, these guys are military intelligence, which they admit can be a different breed from military infantry. I loathe him with every fiber of my being. If you have any requests or questions just leave a comment below! If they are in the military, at least they will understand the exact nature of the kind of BS you need to deal with and how you can't be there every single minute of the day. That’s not the case with everyone though obviously. He’s in the reserves but is considering going active. Married, living together, have a dog. The things I value (independent thought, self-sufficiency, open-mindedness, independence in general) are not the things I saw in military life. The sexism, racism and arrogance of many military personnel always upset me, but I tried hard to put that aside and enter the Military relationship with an open mind. A misconception about military marriage is that it frequently involves infidelity, according to Perkins. Really? Still can't decide which dating site is the best? The longest we've been apart was 3 months. They have very little choice about when they work, where they live, and how often they can check their phone for messages. Give your guy a chance. We met in college and I fell pretty hard. First of all, don't let past experiences/what others say totally influence you. If someone finds you on these sites, they have already decided that they are okay with being with someone of that lifestyle. Really funny, and charming, and genuinely was my best friend. He won't go to tutoring. If you disapprove of any and all war, dating someone in the military is a recipe for disaster. I figure I just had to suck it up and give it a try. Negative, negative, negative, negative. Find out the most important features of every platform Dating is hard because you don't always know who is a great guy and who isputting up a front. It just depends on what you are looking for and their personality. raimius. He abuses prescription drugs and mixes them with alcohol. Also, he’s totally normal, sweet and well-adjusted compared to some of the other comments people have already posted . He loves his job, and he aspires to be the best he can be for his soldiers. 10-Year Member. Fingers crossed that he isn't a piece of shit:/. He said that was cool and we'd try that, but just ghosted me right after that. Nov 23, 2009 #3 A lot of cadets/mids are in relationships. Online Dating for Pet People. They never lose that ability to wake up early! He has some big trust issues due to ex’s cheating on him or using him. They are just like anyone else except their job involves the military. So that’s the hardest part for me to deal with. He is the most solid, loving, unflappable and smartest man I've ever met. It's like they're still in the service! Military wives are not as likely to cheat as their deployed husbands. Every time she takes him out in a group setting, she ends up crying and apologizing to everyone around because of how flat-out mean he is. Admittedly, there are military couples out there that make it work, but they probably followed the other tips on this list. He won't take more than two easy community college classes a semester, and usually ends up failing out of at least one. Military members sign their lives over to the government. I know people who have joined and are total assholes because they thought they would be "alpha" or whatever because they were in the military. Will take this is an undeniable allure. There are definitely some dos and don’ts that you’ll want to be aware of when pursuing a romantic relationship with a female soldier. They're also a small sample, but from talking to them they don't feel like exceptions among the people in their area of the military (though they were sometimes out of place among the general population in basic training). Over 984 reviews of military dating sites help meet army singles and their admirers online. I think how they were raised has so much to do with how they will become after being in the military. You will have to spend time apart. Again, my opinion was just that of a SO. 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