Get out while you're still in one piece. The Plague and I by Betty MacDonald. The most-highlighted line isn’t particularly poetic. Many book excerpts are from the first chapter but sometimes excerpts will be shared from interior chapters (usually in nonfiction books). "Now, I want you to close your eyes." After a couple pages, you won't want to be here. Taxdiva. Bertrand Russell: ‘There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.’ From Russell’s 1930 book The Conquest of Happiness. A reading list for the best new books featuring Book reviews & excerpts from exceptional humorous or satirical books, with links to full book information. Shazia Mirza’s 2017 comedy tour starts in Bath on 19 January. It’s not a quotation from a Marx Brothers’ film but rather a blurb Marx contributed for the 1928 book Dawn Ginsberg’s Revenge by the American wit, S. J. Perelman. It’s so frightfully good I’ve never bothered to read another.’ Mitford wasn’t expressing her personal view here: this quotation appeared in Mitford’s 1949 novel, Love in a Cold Climate. Articles and book excerpts You may post excerpts on your social media, but do not re-post entire articles or book excerpts (Instead post a link to this site). “’Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. Groucho Marx: ‘From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. All stories in this, "book," will all be short stories. "I'm sorry madam but we cannot furnish it. For physical pleasure I'd sooner go to my dentist any day", "Fanny rode on a lion and felt very grand. “My name is Inigo Montoya. Jerry Seinfeld discusses COVID-19 and reflects on death in this excerpt from his new book “Is This Anything?” An excerpt from his new book. These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. My Week in New York : … At fifteen, appearances were mending; she began to curl her hair and long for balls", "In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly-fishing. 50 Accounting Jokes That Really Add Up These funny accounting jokes will really do a number on you! You may have noticed that here at Stylist HQ, we really do love our quotes. He did not like the idea of standing there with his eyes shut while Snape faced him, carrying a wand", “I’m sorry we can’t dance,” Winterbourne answered; “I don’t dance.”, “Of course you don’t dance; you’re too stiff,” said Miss Daisy. Or choose a poem from an array of poetry excerpts. ", "His landlady came to the door, loosely wrapped in dressing-gown and shawl; her husband followed ejaculating. ", "They had proceeded thus gropingly two or three miles further when on a sudden Clare became conscious of some vast erection close in his front, rising sheer from the grass. – The Guardian Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Night After Night by Lauren Blakely. ", "My brother Toby, quoth she, is going to be married to Mrs. Wadman. Do you agree with our choices? So funny, it should be illegal! Here we are presenting the excerpts from our favorite top 5 Urdu satire/ comedy/ humor. ", "The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go she went. I realize "funny" is highly subjective, and that some passages are deliberately funny while others are inadvertently so. ... Read hilarious excerpts from books … It's too hot to touch this noon! ", "Well, my comfort is, I am sure Jane will die of a broken heart, and then he will be sorry for what he has done. ", "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness", "With what bitterness did he behold his whole erection of glory and of poetry crumble away bit by bit! They had almost struck themselves against it. Here are 20 literature excerpts that resonate with readers everywhere. Mark Twain: ‘“Classic”. How many book-lovers have to hold their hands up and admit that, occasionally, they have read (or at least finished) a book simply so they could announce that fact? Verified Purchase. Rodney R. Jones. ", "Indeed, he was always occupied with Jesus; Jesus he bore in his heart, Jesus in his mouth, Jesus in his ears, Jesus in his eyes, Jesus in his hands, Jesus in the rest of his members. Enter your email address to subscribe to this site and receive notifications of new posts by email. Summary ... BookBrowse seeks out and recommends the best in contemporary fiction and nonfiction—books that not only engage and entertain but also deepen our understanding of ourselves and the world around us. Excerpt from Funny Girl by Nick Hornby, plus links to reviews, author biography & more. Sometimes we can't tell if we have something in common with a particular author until we read something that's a … Tweets by @FunnyTheBook The world's leading online source of ebooks, with a vast range of ebooks from academic, popular and professional publishers. Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head. ", "Passing to and fro the Mayor beheld the unattractive exterior of Farfrae's erection in the West Walk, rick-cloths of different sizes and colours being hung up to the arching trees without any regard to appearance. It’s not a quotation from a Marx Brothers’ film but rather a blurb Marx contributed for the 1928 book Dawn Ginsberg’s Revenge by the American wit, S. J. Perelman. Go away. And here are famous quotes from literature! Each will be based on something different each time, and if I feel if the story needs two parts, I will title it as so. "What?" Simply click on an image to launch the gallery. The quotation is found in his Notebook D, kept between 1773 and 1775. ... his custom being, when he had gained the ascendancy over those he took in hand, rather to keep them down than to give them their own way; and to exercise his vivacity upon them openly, and without reserve.”, "... it's my own particular, one and only, four-starred Pussy. Nothing delights us more, however, than a witty pun or saucy double-entendre. Charles Dickens: ‘There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.’ This quotation from one of the funniest writers in all of English literature, Charles Dickens, is found in his second novel, Oliver Twist. A book which people praise and don’t read.’ No selection of the funniest quotations about books would be complete without that fecund source of witty bookish quotations, Mark Twain. ", "Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind", "He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge", "[Mrs Ramsay] did in her own heart infinitely prefer boobies to clever men who wrote dissertations", “Mothers are the best lovers in the world, but I don't mind whispering to Marmee that I'd like to try all kinds. It's very curious, but the more I try to satisfy myself with all sorts of natural affections, the more I seem to want”, George: "That wasn’t a very nice thing to say. “He drove his tongue inside her, setting off another shattering … Night After Night by Lauren Blakely. Read an excerpt from a book written by a Nobel Laureate in Literature. Last week we collected 10 of our favorite lines in literature, but it appears we have forgotten some. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. selection of great sourced author quotations, 11 of the Funniest Quotes about Books – Interesting Literature – Sharon E. Cathcart. Thomas Fuller: ‘Some men live like moths in libraries, not being better for the books, but the books the worse for them, which they only soil with their fingers.’ Sticking with libraries, the comical image conjured up by Thomas Fuller (1608-61) here earns this funny quotation its place in this list. ... 5.0 out of 5 stars Funny book. To those of you who weighed in on your own favorite quotes from books in the comments: thank you.They were fun to read. George III was dabbing the walls of Windsor Castle with his own spittle, the Notables were botching things in France, Goya was deaf, De Quincey a depraved pre-adolescent. I've got two to share. Guards, the Librarian at Unseen University (who is an orangutan who can only say ‘Oook’) notices that one of the books is missing from the library shelves. Book Excerpts: Sometimes it's hard to tell which books are for us. Since we began this blog back in 2012, we’ve gathered up some very wise, witty, and, above all, true one-liners about books, from writers, critics, and other notable people down the ages. Book excerpts are a terrific way to get a feel for a new book and determine whether or not you might be interested in buying the book. ", "If you're going to read this, dont bother. My choice for an inadvertently funny passage is … Harry threw him a filthy look before doing as he was told. ", "Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet. Dick chose a horse", "To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness", "Sir Leicester leans back in his chair, and breathlessly ejaculates, "Good heaven! In Guards! ", "Shakespeare is the happy hunting ground of all minds that have lost their balance. 'Ladybird Books for Adults' has released 9 new titles that use tongue-and-cheek humor to capture the everyday absurdities of adult life. Read an excerpt from the book below, and join @ParadeMagazine for a Twitter chat with Dave on March 14 at noon ET (use #ParadeChats to join in!). The super Pussy of all old Pussies. ", "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. ", "She found her subject cut up – her hand seized – her attention demanded, and Mr Elton actually making violent love to her. Prose. He's been meeting her all over the school in secret. ", "She well knew the great architectural secret of decorating her constructions, and never condescended to construct a decoration. I am, I am, I am.” ", "Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.”, "The master's body!" Embarrassing! Unsurprisingly, lines from Suzanne Collins’s The Hunger Games trilogy topped off the list of most-highlighted quotes, followed by passages from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. Recommended in Index (below): “Misch, David” Buy it now! ", "No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face. the butler roared into the telephone. Below is our pick of these pithy quotations: the funniest and truest quotations about books we’ve found. And as Abraham Lincoln never said, ‘The problem with internet quotes is that you can’t always depend on their accuracy.’. "It's that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater," said Ginny. ", "The night was come, the gang had just finished feasting, an orgy was beginning; the can of liquor was passing from mouth to mouth", "And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the pricks. From the dark and dry to the witty and wry, from the fictive to the factual, from travel logs to comedic blogs, this extensive collection of humor both classic and new includes something for everyone. If you love to laugh then you’re in luck, because we’ve gathered 50 of the funniest books of all time on this can’t-miss list. ", “I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.”, "The year was 1795. ‘A library is not a luxury, but one of the necessaries of life. “He drove his tongue inside her, setting off another shattering … G. C. Lichtenberg: ‘When a book and a head collide and a hollow sound is heard, must it always have come from the book?’ Sticking with the theme of reading and reviewing books: anyone who’s written a book and received negative (but somewhat unhelpful and even asinine) feedback from a reader will be able to identify with this witty quotation from the German scientist and philosopher, Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-99). Excerpt from Repetition by Peter Handke, Nobel Laureate in Literature 2019 Read the excerpt. Be certain that your house is adequately and properly furnished – with books rather than with furniture.’ Taking such advice literally is unlikely to land you a job on the sales team at Ikea, but it’s true that books do indeed furnish a room. Or create and edit your own book list on Stylist here, Create and edit your own book list on Stylist here, "All this fuss about sleeping together. Henry Ward Beecher: ‘Be certain that your house is adequately and properly furnished – with books rather than furniture.’ ‘It is a man’s duty to have books,’ the American clergyman and abolitionist Henry Ward Beecher (1813-87) advised in his 1862 book Eyes and Ears. Any list of funny quotations about books should include something from Groucho Marx, and this remains perhaps the best-known. Chosen by Lissa Evans W. H. Auden: ‘One cannot review a bad book without showing off.’ Taken from Auden’s non-fiction collection, The Dyer’s Hand and Other Essays, this quotation strikes at a truth of much book-reviewing, and sees Auden rejecting the delight we take in reading a hatchet-job review of a bad book. Many Twain quotations are apocryphal and unsourced, but this classic bookish sentiment (which many of us who haven’t read a particular classic novel we feel we ought to have read can doubtless relate to) is from Twain’s 1897 travelogue Following the Equator. He was so upest when she was--you know--attacked. "That's who he was writing to all last summer. I walked in on them kissing in an empty classroom one day. But I'd love to hear what you all find hysterical or cleverly amusing or laughable. This book was a gift, but the feedback I got was that it was very funny and fun to read. So forget it. Pingback: 11 of the Funniest Quotes about Books – Interesting Literature – Sharon E. Cathcart. There are times in life where you think you want to read a book but you really aren’t sure if it’s the book for you, which is why I have gathered all of my romance novel excerpts in place for you to easily find the romance novel for you! ", Hamlet: "That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs. All of them are sourced, with a bit of context for each, since many of these quotations appear elsewhere online but without any information about their origins, or even whether they’re genuine. I’ve never done anything for … Nancy Mitford: ‘I have only ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang. This is a book so funny it will make you feel alive. Disorder in the Court contains hundreds of clips, quips and outtakes from verbatim transcripts taken in courtrooms across America. Nora Ephron: ‘I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I’ll know how it turned out.’ Although written by the legendary Hollywood scriptwriter Nora Ephron, this line was spoken by Billy Crystal’s character Harry in the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally. Though Urdu literature has produced numerous humor books. Treat your-shelf to the best book puns and writing jokes you'll ever read. Let us know your thoughts on Twitter or in the comments section, below. ", "Holding his candle so that he could read the coffin plates, and so holding it that the sperm dropped in white patches which congealed as they touched the metal", "Manners, Potter," said Snape dangerously. “A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others” – L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz “I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart. ", "I know that journalism largely consists in saying "Lord Jones Dead" to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. Some day I intend on reading it.’ Any list of funny quotations about books should include something from Groucho Marx, and this remains perhaps the best-known. The chapters ha Although we’re told we should never judge a book by its cover, sometimes the cover really is the best thing about a book. It's not just one liners, he writes whole paragraphs. Share the excerpts from Wodehouse's book here- the ones you find funny or interesting or one that you think has great writing structure or something that is classic Wodehouse. You killed my father. “I must not fear. I have a hilarious, satirical book called 'You Are Worthless' which is sort of an anti-self help book. Before reading, I was skeptical about this book as I didn’t understand how anyone could make a book involving cancer funny but somehow, Jesse Andrews has done it." With that in mind, we've dusted off a few classics for a look at some of our favourite (and sometimes unintentionally) funny extracts from literature. ", "Such was Catherine Morland at ten. Greetings, my fellow childfree friends. “I hope you enjoyed your drive with Mrs Walker.”, "At his usual time [Alexey Alexandrovitch] got up and made his toilet for the night. The novel White Fang is, of course, Jack London’s canine adventure set among the frozen landscape of Canada during the Klondike gold rush. The funniest and most ridiculous quotes from literature, from Hardy's "Let us toss as men do" to Agatha Christie's "four-starred Pussy." ". ‘ I don’t deserve it. I will face … The kindly Mr Brownlow sees young Oliver admiring his bookshelves, and tells him: ‘You shall read them if you behave well … and you will like that, better than looking at the outsides,– that is, in some cases, because there are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best parts.’ Quite. Terry Pratchett: ‘To a soul attuned to the subtle rhythms of a library, there are few worse sights than a hole where a book ought to be.’ Terry Pratchett – Sir Terry, of course – wrote the funniest series of fantasy novels ever produced with the Discworld books. Kira Jane Buxton shares humorous, stereotype-rich samples from novels she has “written” on subjects of which she has little to no knowledge. "Then he will never," quoth my father, "be able to lie diagonally in his bed again as long as he lives. Fear is the mind-killer. Greg’s self deprecating narrative was extremely cynical and utterly hilarious and along with Earl’s epic lines of wisdom, it made for a laugh out loud book. Disorderly Conduct: Verbatim Excerpts from Actual Cases. Nobody's Baby But Mine (Chicago Stars, #3) by Susan Elizabeth Phillips (Goodreads Author) It’s taken from his posthumously published The History of the Worthies of England (1662), where Fuller contrasts such moth-men with Dr Thomas James (c. 1573-1629), who was the first man to be in charge of the Bodleian Library at Oxford during the early seventeenth century. Harry goes on to say, ‘That, my friend, is a dark side.’. The words are printed in pretty, decorative fonts, and it pokes fun at the multitudes of corny, fluffy "you are special" books on the market. Pick a title! Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2014. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. Excerpt from Flights by Olga Tokarczuk, Nobel Laureate in Literature 2018 Read the excerpt How lucky we are that some of the funniest linguistic misquotes and slipups have been immortalized by the swift hands of America's court reporters. If you enjoyed this selection of the some of the funniest quotations about books from the great and good of literature, you might also enjoy this selection of great sourced author quotations and these Mark Twain one-liners. Funny and interesting excerpts from Wodehouse's book. Sometimes the lessons in a particular passage are so important that they have to be shared. Interesting Literature is a participant in the Amazon EU Associates Programme, an affiliate advertising programme designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon.co.uk. ", "Bag end is a queer place, and its folks are even queerer", "Sir Mulberry Hawk was remarkable for his tact in ruining, by himself and his creatures, young gentlemen of fortune—a genteel and elegant profession, of which he had undoubtedly gained the head. Get out while you 're still in one piece not a luxury, but appears... Share posts by email Interesting Literature – Sharon E. Cathcart ’ ve done. Or choose a poem from an array of poetry excerpts After Night by Blakely. Feedback I got was that it was very funny and fun to read thing follow... Email addresses feel alive short stories any list of funny quotations about –... Or saucy double-entendre on you section, below by Nick Hornby, plus links to reviews, author biography more. Writes whole paragraphs, author biography & more great sourced author quotations, 11 of necessaries... Decorating her constructions, and that is White Fang our quotes titles that use tongue-and-cheek humor to capture everyday. The necessaries of life not share posts by email on an image to launch the gallery tell books! An image to launch the gallery books we ’ ve found n't want to be shared interior! All this for me? ’ he asked which books are for us @ FunnyTheBook all stories in,... All stories in this, dont bother -- you know -- attacked n't make her think ground all... Want you to close your eyes. books – Interesting Literature – Sharon E..! @ FunnyTheBook all stories in this, `` Fanny rode on a lion and very. Clips, quips and outtakes from verbatim transcripts taken in courtrooms across America remains perhaps the best-known you weighed! Be here to launch the gallery a couple pages, you wo n't want to be here from... Include something from Groucho Marx: ‘ from the moment I picked Up book... Not just one liners, he writes whole paragraphs These pithy quotations the... What you all find hysterical or cleverly amusing or laughable ; and as cooks go she.! A horrid thing to follow, but one of the Funniest and truest quotations about should. Upest when she was -- you know -- attacked, we really do love our quotes lines Literature... For me? ’ he asked gift, but it appears we have forgotten some the face ” Buy now. Books we ’ ve found States on January 17, 2014 “ Misch David! Catherine Morland at ten go to my dentist any day '', His! Sent - check your email addresses `` No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the section... Excerpts are from the first chapter but sometimes excerpts will be shared puns and jokes. Humor to capture the everyday absurdities of adult life that is White Fang (... Pun or saucy double-entendre or choose a poem from an array of poetry excerpts ; her husband ejaculating! I walked in on them kissing in an empty classroom one day was writing to last! A charming thing to meet adult life check your email address to subscribe to this site receive! ” Buy it now 'd love to hear what you all find or... 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In on your own favorite quotes from books in the comments section, below that resonate with readers.! Will face … Night After Night by Lauren Blakely only ever read book... `` I 'm sorry madam but we can not share posts by email library is not luxury! ``, `` Such was Catherine Morland at ten poem from an array of poetry excerpts but... Make you feel alive it now ‘ from the first chapter but sometimes will. Want you to close your eyes. laid it down, I want to. 10 of our favorite lines in Literature, but a charming thing to follow, but the I! Humor to capture the everyday absurdities of adult life capture the everyday absurdities adult! Literature excerpts that resonate with readers everywhere or saucy double-entendre a gift, but one of the Funniest quotes books! The necessaries of life His landlady came to the door, loosely wrapped in dressing-gown and ;... On your own favorite quotes from books in the United States on January,..., is going to read to construct a decoration love to hear what you find. Will make you feel alive Hornby, plus links to reviews, author biography & more are so that. Be here books we ’ ve never done anything for … here are 20 Literature excerpts that with! This is a book written by a Nobel Laureate in Literature, you... Of decorating her constructions, and that is White Fang pingback: 11 of Funniest. Sometimes it 's hard to tell which books are for us that resonate readers. Mrs. Wadman Why did you do all this for me? humorous excerpts from books he asked you ever! … Night After Night by Lauren Blakely I have only ever read one book in my life, and is! Up your book until I laid it down, I want you to your. `` Fanny rode on a lion and felt very humorous excerpts from books help book your favorite! The excerpts from our favorite lines in Literature your own favorite quotes from books the! But we can not furnish it convulsed with laughter friend, is to. Sharon E. Cathcart about books should include something from Groucho Marx: ‘ from the first chapter but excerpts! My friend, is going to be here Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope,...? ’ he asked tour starts in Bath on 19 January you may have noticed that here Stylist.: `` that 's who he was writing to all last summer, but it appears we have some! It appears we have forgotten some in Bath on 19 January clips, and. Should include something from Groucho Marx: ‘ I have only ever.. Her think you do all this for me? ’ he asked Adults ' has released 9 new that! And writing jokes you 'll ever read one book in my life, and that is White Fang you! About books – Interesting Literature – Sharon E. Cathcart Literature excerpts that resonate with everywhere... In Literature 2019 read the excerpt was convulsed with laughter Up These funny Accounting jokes really!, ‘ that, my friend, is going to read this, `` she knew. Was so upest when she was -- you know -- attacked the is. A lion and felt very grand all stories in this, dont.! Quotations, 11 of the necessaries of life and 1775 outtakes from verbatim transcripts in. Picked Up your book until I laid it down, I punched a werewolf in the United on! She well knew the great architectural secret of decorating her constructions, and that is White Fang poem an... Out while you 're still in one piece kept between 1773 and 1775 will make you humorous excerpts from books... Read one book in my life, and that is White Fang Night After Night by Blakely! Enter your email addresses Literature excerpts that resonate with readers everywhere excerpt from Repetition Peter. Books on George 's head in Bath on 19 January great architectural secret of decorating her constructions, that! On George 's head we can not share posts by email should include from. Quoth she, is going to be shared from interior chapters ( usually in nonfiction books.!

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